


Graveyard Shift - Volume 1

by Seito



Series: Graveyard Shift [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Afterlife, Gen, Humor, Office, Paperwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 12:06:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10662246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seito/pseuds/Seito
Summary: Death is in desperate need of a vacation. She isn’t paid enough for this (she isn’t paid at all), but clearly someone is conspiring against her. Battles against paperwork, troublesome souls who cause chaos everywhere, fights with her counterpart, the smug and impossible Life, all Death wants is for her job to go smoothly.It doesn’t. At all.





	Graveyard Shift - Volume 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking a look inside. I do hope you enjoy my story, have a laugh and poke some fun at Death.

Death pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling her headache grow. Today, one of her biggest headaches was going to arrive. She wasn’t sure if she should feel thrilled or relieved. Mostly, though, she was simply exhausted. All she had to do was get through today, throw the rest of her workload at her Reapers and then go and collapse on a bed.

She just _had_ to get through this tiny little task.

“H-hello?”

Death smiled. It was not a nice smile. It was not a friendly smile. It was in fact, pointy and sharp. “Joshua Abe, age 37, died of a tragic car accident,” she said.

Joshua gulped and nodded. He was a lanky man with large black rim glasses and a nervous disposition. Truly, as she reviewed his file, he was an unremarkable man. He had a few friends, a loving mother and brother, a mediocre job and a small time passion for feeding birds. Joshua was ultimately one of those humans who wouldn’t do much, wouldn’t amount to much, just barely content with his life.

There was just one tiny detail about his life that drove Death up the wall.

“Upon their death, certain human souls receive rewards for any notable achievements they had done during their life. It is my… honor to inform you that you have achieved such a reward,” Death said; her smile stretching a little wider.

“I don’t think I did anything,” Joshua said meekly.

“Oh, my dear soul,” Death purred. She hauled out a large metal trophy. “You have won the award for ‘Most People Killed Without Knowing It’.”

“Wha-?!”

Death dealt with many different kinds of souls. Serial murderers were a dime and a dozen to which she barely batted an eyelash to. World leaders who authorized the death of millions with their fancy new weapons. The greedy rich who toppled the poor in their quest for even more money. Those type of souls, those killers, they were easy enough to deal with it. But the souls that kill without knowing? For one, there was no warning to prepare for. For two, the resulting paperwork was a pain.

Most people who killed without knowing were one-time offenders regarding a small handful of people, like giving bad directions that accidentally sent people driving off a cliff instead to a safe destination. But Joshua here was not only a repeat offender, the number of people he killed without knowing, were into the thousands. Joshua had killed small countries worth of people… all while remaining oblivious to the fact.

Frankly, Death didn’t know how he did it. She didn’t care either. Joshua was dead and all that meant was the last increase of random and overwhelming paperwork from the last 37 years was gone and never happening again.

“B-but I haven’t killed anyone!” Joshua protested.

“That would be the unknowing part of the award,” Death said. She closed his file and stamped it with her signature. “Please report to Reaper Kaia for your afterlife assignment.”

“B-but.”

“Off you go!” Death said with cheer. She waved her hand and Joshua vanished from her sight. A push of a big red button sent the rest of her work randomly to the rest of her Reapers. The surrounding cries of alarm that filled the area were music to her ears. Death turned off her light and wandered off to her home.

With any luck she wouldn’t have to deal with another soul like Joshua for another millennium or two.

-.-.-.-

Death grumbled as she checked her file. Joy Conner, age 22, majoring in Physics and… was scheduled to have died two months ago. Her Reapers had been complaining about this one and none of the ones assigned to her had been successfully able to escort her soul to the afterlife. Naturally, that was when Death was called in. Somehow, she didn’t think being the higher power meant she had to deal with all the trouble cases.

She materialized into Joy’s house; her red eyes narrowing at the scene. Hanging from the ceiling was an entire collection of rabbit feet. A red vase on the counter seemed to hold an impossible amount of four leaf clovers. Death blinked at the magic circles -magic circles that humanity had lost eons ago- that were drawn on the wall.

“How did you get in?!”

Death turned around to see a young woman with short red hair standing in the doorway, jaw hanging open in shock. “Joy Conner, age 24,” Death said. “You were supposed to have died in an incident involving a blunt force object to the head.”

“I know that!” Joy shrieked. “The stupid piano just missed me. I can’t believe I was supposed to have died by a piano of all things! This isn’t a cartoon!”

“You win some, you lose some,” Death said dryly. Okay, so maybe to change it up a little, Death occasionally borrowed ideas of how peopled died from humanity’s media entertainment. You could only kill so many people the same way over and over again before it got boring. Humans were notoriously good at coming up with imaginative ideas about their mortality.

Putting aside those thoughts, Death returned her attention back to Joy. “You’ve gained a full two unauthorized months, Joy Conner. You will be escorted to the afterlife now,” Death said. The sooner she finished this, the sooner she could get back to her tv show.

“But,” Joy said. She didn’t get a chance to finish her words before Death cut her down with her scythe.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Joy shouted as her body dropped to the ground. She was now hovering, transparent and ghostly.

“Congratulations,” Death said with cheer. “You’re dead. You could have had an interesting death, but now it’s just a heart attack.” She placed her hand on Joy’s shoulder. “Now let’s get you to the afterlife.”

Pause.

Death frowned when their surroundings didn’t change. Strange. Why didn’t they leave? All Death had to do was to will where she wanted to go and -poof- they were there.

Joy on the other hand looked smug. She crossed her arms as she looked at Death. “I might be dead, but it looks like those magic circles worked after all,” Joy said.

Death twitched. Humans. What did she do to deserve to this? She gritted her teeth and pulled out her phone. It rang twice before the other person picked up the phone.

_“Boss?”_

“Reaper Kaia, you will come to Joy Conner’s house. Not in! Outside and break down the wall. We are trapped inside,” Death said.

_“Understood, Boss.”_

“Boss?” Joy asked, clearly shamelessly eavesdropping. “I didn’t think Grim Reapers had a hierarchy. I guess that makes sense.”

“I am Death. All Grim Reapers fall under my command.”

Joy narrowed her brown eyes. “Like Death, Death? The head honcho? You’re real? And female?”

Death twitched. “Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes.”

“Wait really?” Joy said. “My magic circles are strong enough to keep Death itself trapped? Will people stop dying because I have you trapped here?”

Death hissed, feeling the onset of a headache. It was always these trouble cases. “Joy Conner, it would be in your best interest to shut up right now.”

“But!”

“Shut up.”

-.-.-.-

Death’s smile was frigid. Why today of all days?

Standing before her was a man with white hair. His armor was glittering white, shiny and pristine, not a single tarnish on him. His matching sword and shield, unblemished, not a single scratch on them.

Death hated him. “Hello Life,” she greeted her counterpart.

Life stared down at her, disdain in his blue eyes. “Death,” he said. “I see you’ve been busy.”

‘Cleaning up your mess,’ Death thought sourly. “Since you’re here, I do have something to discuss with you. Earth cannot sustain anymore life. Humanity is bursting at their seams. Layoff, Life.” Her Reapers were being run ragged trying to keep up with the number of humans who were dying because Earth couldn’t support that many humans at once.

Life snorted. “Don’t tell me how to do my job, Death. Don’t blame me for you being incompetent.”

Death gritted her teeth; her fingers twitching for her scythe. It would be so… _easy_ to cut him down. To tarnish his perfect pure white armor would be amazing. But no. Attacking her counterpart would invite war and chaos. She didn’t need any more paperwork.

 “I think you should leave, Life,” Death said.

“Don’t worry, Death,” Life said. “You’ll get the hang of it one day.”

 _Jerk_.

-.-.-.-

“Reaper Kaia what is this?”

Kaia with her brown hair pulled up in a neat bun looked at Death with an unimpressed expression. “These are your new Reapers, Boss.”

Death pinched the bridge of her nose. Standing before her, Joy was rocking on the balls of her heels; her brown eyes wide and curious. Next to her, Joshua looked nervous, wringing his hands together. His black frame glasses slipped down his nose.

“Why?” Death asked. These two were the bane of her existence within the last century. They should have been processed and moved into their proper places in the afterlife. They should NOT be her newest Reapers.

Kaia looked at her brown clipboard. “That’s what the paperwork says, Boss.”

Death stomped down the urge to stream. She was an all powerful being. No matter how stressful, she wouldn’t, couldn’t break over something as trivial as this. If she could tolerate Life since the beginning of time, she could handle this. “I do the paperwork, Reaper Kaia. I assure you, these two were not assigned to be Reapers.”

Kaia tilted her head slightly. Death scowled harder, recognizing the faint glimmer of amusement in Kaia’s hazel brown eyes.

“Regardless, Boss, they have signed the contract. You can’t renegotiate it until at least a 1000 years have passed. We do need more help,” Kaia said.

“They forced me,” Joshua blurted out.

Joy punched him in the shoulder. “Shh! You weren’t supposed to say that. Beside lighten up man! We get to be Reapers. Isn’t that cool?”

Death smiled her sharp and pointy smile. Her scythe materialized into her hand. “Instead of waiting 1000 years, how about I simply wipe you three from existence?”

Kaia notably started sweating. Good. No matter how competent Kaia was, Death didn’t appreciate this. If there was a need for more Reapers, Kaia had an entire wide pool to select from. Not… these two.

“Hey we’re trying to help,” Joy said.

Death’s smile just grew wider. “I would run if I was you.”

Joshua squeaked and took off. Kaia had already vanished and Death leapt at Joy who had finally learned to dodge.

“COME BACK HERE!” Death bellowed.

By the maker, what had she done to deserve this thankless job??

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is the first 4 parts of the story, which introduce the cast to you. 
> 
> You can interact with the characters over on the [Tumblr Askblog](https://graveyardshiftaskblog.tumblr.com/)


End file.
